I've always been a leader, driven to support others, but guiding them towards a holistic healing journey, focusing on multiple layers, addressing various traumas, and inspiring them to concentrate on their future rather than their past, wasn't always clear to me.

I used to center my efforts on everyone else's well-being, exhausting myself while neglecting my own needs and desires. I bottled up my worries and made compromises that didn't align with my highest values. I felt compelled to be the pillar of strength for those around me, fearing that the world would crumble without me.

I was profoundly detached from my own body, particularly my emotions, as constant thoughts overwhelmed my mind. I became adept at masking my struggles, acting like a chameleon, so for a time, no one detected my inner turmoil. However, the façade slowly crumbled, and signs of my internal struggle became evident.

If someone had asked if I was happy, I would have provided eloquent responses, but in reality, I was clueless about my emotions and their origins. I was barely hanging on, navigating each day as if traversing a minefield, seeking deeper escape through food, alcohol, sex, and even video games.

For decades, I grappled with obesity, gastrointestinal issues, perpetual headaches, and frequent illnesses. But the worst part was the unrelenting exhaustion, burnout, and overwhelming stress. I watched my youth slip away, believing this was the norm – life meant working, enduring, paying bills, chores, and more bills, followed by sleep and holding on. I hoped that one day this rollercoaster of life would become gentler, that someone would magically arrive with all the solutions, like a character from 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.' I just needed my golden ticket. Until then, I had to continue pretending… keep working… keep on faking it.